Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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