so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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