Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
