Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Randomize
