dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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