i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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