woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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