smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
