This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
