Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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