non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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