That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it was like having sex with a tree stump
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
