hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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