Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
