I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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