**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
