We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
