the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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