Where is the hickey?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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