hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Pants are for mortals
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
