"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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