so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
