Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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