she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You pole danced in your parka.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
