And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
