im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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