She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
