You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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