weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
