we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
