Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my shit smells like andre
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
