you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
