What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
