butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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