how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
