yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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