last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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