fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
