look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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