So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
