Tell her she can't have a vagina
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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