Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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