She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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