at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize