tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I need to stop coming to work sober
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
