just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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