pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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