I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
