So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
