Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
