I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
