New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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