I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
