I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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