ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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