The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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