what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
