Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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