I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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