I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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