dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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