I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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