I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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