All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize