hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
