I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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