Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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