do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
