Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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