roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
