(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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